pocket full of crackers

Please share positive thoughts for Matthew and all of us.
He had a gigantic tantrum tonight about crackers, and looked very, very lost.  He kept wiggling his fingers and crying and screaming and just appeared very, very confused.

After the last 2.5 weeks of him being so "on", it was hard to see him struggling tonight.  He looked like such a scared, lost soul.

At the park he was again obsessing about smokers, and he screamed curses at a gentleman that asked him to move over to the right side of the bike path so that he could cross.  I was concerned to see Matthew's reactions to these 2 situations, but I hoped that he would keep it all together.  I didn't think he would tantrum again this quickly.  I was not ready to see him so lost.

I knew in my heart that the tantrums would return, but oh how I hoped that we had found his miracle drugs and had beat the demons.

The past 2.5 weeks were worth every minute of awesomeness, but it made tonights tantrum so hard to see.

Here is hoping that he will wake up tomorrow fresh and back on track.  Here is hoping that tonight was a hiccup and that we get a little bit more time with the Matthew full of laughter and calm.  Here is hoping, cause I am not ready for another battle.  I do not want the intensity of mental illness to return.  Please keep the demons at bay.