About Me

I am a single mom of three amazing boys!  All three of my sons entered my family through adoption.  All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!

Monday, August 23, 2010

deep breath

OK, I am remembering why I started this blog- to help me on those challenging days. To get on paper, sort of, what the challenges are and to help keep me from hanging onto the stress.......

It has been a while since I blogged, there was a lot of good times, it has really been a great summer, but now we are in the last 2 weeks, summer school is over, and apparently we are going to hit bottom.

I am trying to stay positive. Trying hard to remember this is only a phase, but seriously, I think it may be time for me to consider jumping off the bridge!
Really, how often is one supposed to hear the following before they go crazy?

1." YELLLLLLOOOOOWWWW"- said as we pass almost every traffic light and hope that it turns yellow

2. "The truck has 3 tires" followed by a giddy high pitched scream- to which I am supposed to feign excitement, however it has now been SOOOOOOO many trucks we have seen and I am SO NOT excited by them

3. can I have cookies tonight- this starts at 8 AM and continues throughout the entire day, sure some days it is cookies, and other days it is ice cream, or skittles or some other favorite food- but it really wears on me daily.....I am a large person, I get the importance of food, but it is just simply not THAT important that we have to start talking about it at 8 AM

4. talk about CDTA busses- seriously, they are not that exciting- they are a mode of transportation....a way to get from here to there and back again.....we read the numbers on all of them, evaluate their signage, wonder when we can ride one......

5. "I love you Jacob" or "here I come Jacob" or just basically being in Jacob's face which is quickly followed by a high pitched cry from Jacob- leave HIM ALONE!!! Seriously.....

6. The incessant "I love you", "I love you"....I am sure that he is checking for love, and I hate that and yes at times it does break my heart. BUT, I am a human, with true emotions....I simply cannot be "on" 24/7". and you know what, when you are bothering me ALL THE TIME, it is hard to be patient, and loving and kind, and sweet NONSTOP.... and therefor, saying "I love you" incessantly is SO not helping his cause!

I know that life is changing, I know that school is about to start, I know that this all has a huge impact on Matthew. I know that.....I get it! However, I SIMPLY CAN"T TAKE ANOTHER MINUTE! There, I said it......so, if anyone is interested in a 9 year old boy....rumor has it he is endearing and clever and cute in small doses......I will happily take him back on September 7.......but until then, I think we could both use a break!

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