There is so much that has been going on, I think the only thing that will make sense is to go child by child:
1. Jacob- How a child can have so much growth and yet be such a puzzle, I will never understand. We went to Jacob's kindergarten screening, and Jacob was petrified. I ended up staying with him for the beginning of the screening, but the teachers really wanted to see how he would do with me in the room next door so I was eventually able to make the split from him for a few minutes.
Jacob scored a dismal 10 out of 39 on his screening. While some of the things that he didn't get points for, Jacob can actually do, like identifying all of his colors, many of them he truly is struggling with. While he can jump and hop, he can't seem to do it on command. He also is unable to draw basic shapes such as a square, triangle or rectangle, and he could not identify 4 of the 6 letters they showed him.
I was able to speak to the kindergarten teachers and she said that most of the incoming kindegarteners are scoring in the 30's, a few are scoring lower, but all in the high 20's, and so she is eager to hear what happens when Jacob has his evaluation. I am counting the days until June 4 when Jacob will get a complete evaluation by an educational psychologist.
With Matthew and David, it was clear to me that there were global developmental issues, so I knew what path we would take and I could predict to some extent the services they would need. With Jacob, I maintain that he is a very smart little boy. There is some reason that he is unable to learn as quickly as he should be able to, and there is a reason he is struggling, but I don't believe that it is due to severe developmental issues, so I am hoping to gather information with the evaluation that will allow us to learn techniques to help Jacob gain the skills he needs.
2. David is doing well, but is definitely struggling with seizures. The only positive about this is that he seems to be able to tell me recently what is going on. Tonight we were at a wedding and David froze, and I could tell by looking at him that something was wrong. When I asked him what was wrong he told me for the first time that he didn't feel well. I picked him up and held him for a few minutes and then we sat while I rubbed his back. He kept telling me he wasn't feeling well, and that his head was bothering him. He wasn't able to say much else about what was wrong, but he was able to be comforted and used words rather than behaviors to show that he was uncomfortable.
He then started telling me that he wanted to go home. Thankfully, I convinced him to go outside for a few minutes and within 10 minutes of being outside, he returned to regular David again. He was able to share that not feeling good was scary, and I reassured him that I was with him.
It is a huge step to have him be able to communicate with me.
3. Matthew is back to being up and down. We have had some major struggles with tantrums again recently, which is hard to return to, but he is also having some moments where he seems to be more in touch with what he feels. He was able to tell me tonight that he is scared that he will have to go back to 4 Winds because he is scaring his brothers, and he and I were able to talk about what he needs to do to stay at home.
I am looking for a program for him for the Fall because his teachers feel that the middle school programs are not appropriate for him. This is very scary, and there don't appear to be nearly enough choices. I am feeling very up and down emotionally about all of this, and I know for Matthew this is also a nervous time. I told him that he would not be going to the middle school, because he was talking about it all the time and I felt like he had to know that he would be going somewhere else- it seemed unfair to have him getting excited about the middle school, with me knowing he wouldnt be going there.
I am hoping that his emotions settle a little more over the next few days, but I know the end of the year for him is always a stressful time, and with him graduating from 5th grade, that is likely making this a harder year for him and therefore he is having more outbursts.
Here is to more family time, and some answers about what is going on with all 3 boys!
- I am a single mom of three amazing boys! All three of my sons entered my family through adoption. All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!