insanity......
missing him
wanting him home
hating the struggle, hating the place we are in
Realizing he is where he needs to be
but my heart is missing him constantly
the house is quiet
quiet is good, but I wish there was noise
noise of 3 boys playing
laughing, giggling
enjoying their time together
I do not miss the real noise
the whining, the screaming
the hitting, the fighting
the noise of his illness
the noise of his mood disorder
the noise of his brain damage
the noise that has filled our house
I miss the noise of his giggle
it has been forever, since it has been alive
in our house, in his world, in him
I miss the noise of him
up in the morning, on the computer
singing song after song after song
He is where he needs to be
Healy house is providing him safety
comfort, calmness
They are a respite for all of us
for him he has new faces, new people,
new activities
for Jacob, David and Me
we have calm, quiet
safety
I would give it all up in an instant if he could be with us
a mom should not choose safety vs her child
a mom should not live like we are living
a boy should be happy,
loving,
safe,
happy
come out of the bad spot you are in Matthew
mommy needs you home
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