Monday, December 18, 2017

The whole child

All of us are made up of many parts, personalities and things that make us special.  I'm a hard worker, with high expectations of others who can be over the top silly with kids, but also can be seen as "too demanding" by coworkers.

Matthew is sweet natured with a huge heart and a special ability to connect to people.  This charms grown ups but is seen as weird or intrusive by same age peers.

David is quiet, focused, and gentle.  He can also be the Tasmanian Devil prone to clear a whole room in a spin of chaos,

Jacob is creative, spunky, high energy with an intense personality who seems standoffish.  He cares for little kids with true love and concern but his impulsive nature at times leads to high risk fun.

For Jacob and David more than Matthew you have to get through their outer shell to find their awesome inner selves.  Currently Jacob needs an adult to bang down his tough outer tough core so that he can share his inner sweet side.  Jacob is a true sour patch kid- his initial sour pushes away some,but if you stick around you get to meet the true sweet, kind Jacob.

This year I have been looking for a sport for Jacob where he is part of a team. Jacob's true love is football but two years go he was told he couldn't play tackle while we monitored a newly diagnosed heart condition. I truly believe that his passion for football is due in apart to his love for the game but also due to his love of his coach.  With practice 3 times a week his football coach got to see Jacob asa kid with heart and passion.  He understood what made Jacob tick and encouraged him to play football with true heart.

Once Jacob was unable to play football we went looking for another sport he may love.  He tried out for the baseball team, but he was put on the team a league lower than his same aged peers.   He didn't make the travel team for basketball where we live.  He had little prior basketball knowledge so this wasn't a huge surprise, but his disappointment was real.  We then tried out for a private basketball team and he was cut because he was the last child to sign up.

Now he is playing on our recreational basketball team but even there he sees that he us not the child to move the ball up the court.  His job is to get the ball to the better players.

I'm concerned about all of this and what is happening to Jacob's self esteem.  He needs to find something that he thrives at and I truly believe that this "thing" will include an adult who takes him under his wing.

Thankfully Jacob has the "ok" to hopefully play football again next year.  I am really hoping that this means he will have a chance to be coached and supported by a coach who sees Jacob inner awesome. That said, football isn't until summer and I really think Jacob needs something/someone who can see that his energy, while crazy making, is also what makes him special.

He needs someone to knock hard on his outer shell, until Jacob lets them in and then helps Jacob shine.  He needs that person who sees the gold nugget that I see in Jacob.  He needs someone who can teach him that letting his guard down is safe and will lead to good things.

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