Being a social person in a solo world

If you meet Matthew you immediately know that socialization is important to him.  He loves people; loves to talk to people, share stories, and simply be surrounded by people.  For Matthew this is one of his biggest challenges. He has no friends.  As a social person, he constantly feels lonely and isolated. 

He watches to see how much traffic there is out and about each night and is then heartbroken when there is a lot of traffic.  He is sure that everyone else is out with friends and he is lonely and at home.  When the roads are quiet it is slightly easier for him to be home, but even then only for short bits of time. 

He loves to drum and can typically shoot hoops for a while by himself, but recently he has become unhappy even doing these 2 things.  He simply wants to be busy with people all of the time.  Unfortunately, this is a need I cannot meet for Matthew.  I cannot make other 16 year olds reach out to him.  I cannot create a group of kids for him to be with.  I cannot make up for him missing having a peer group.

Up until recently being with family seemed to be good enough. Now however, as he sees kids his age out and driving and sees that they have a new level of independence it seems that he is living life at a new level of isolation and frustration.

I am allowing him more independence on his bike, but even then I worry that he is alone and at risk.  However, I realize that I cannot keep him safe or teach him independence skills if I never let him try being alone.  That said, I fear that the risk for him is a large risk.  He cannot explain what he is thinking often, and especially not in a high stress situation.  He often cannot share things that happen in a chronological order that make much sense.

In my dreams we have a group of 16-18 year olds who suddenly move to our neighborhood and accept Matthew for where he is on a daily basis.  In reality all I can do is try to provide him with opportunities for socialization and hope that as he gets older he finds social opportunities that meet his needs.

For now, all I know is that he is lonely, and I can't make it better, even though i want to.