About Me


I am a single mom of three amazing boys!  All three of my sons entered my family through adoption.  All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My grandpa


Tonight I am feeling reminiscent....it may have something to do with it just being a great day. It may be because I went through my camera and found pictures I forgot I had taken. It may just be because it is 1 AM....but for whatever reason, today I feel like I have to write this before I go to bed....

My grandfather died in August 2000, this was the summer before I adopted Matthew. After 4 long years of waiting to adopt a baby, Matthew came into my life during the second week of me directing camp the summer of 2001. This may not seem significant except for the fact that my grandfather started a day camp in New Canaan Connecticut that has been a part of the lives of so thousands of people over the past 40 plus years.

As I was growing up when we went to my grandparents house, we actually went to day camp at Camp Playland.... a property with 4 playgrounds, 3 pools, nature galore and basically a kids wonderland...but to me my memories are of "Grandpa's Rocks". Two gigantic rocks that are about a foot apart that my grandpa had us jump between each visit. From the tall rock, to the shorter rock, and back....it was a sign of bravery to make the jump. It was fun and entertaining. It was pure....and it was just me and my grandpa as I made the jump!

About 3 weeks ago we went to Connecticut for my grandmother's 89th birthday, and it was important to me that Matthew and the other boys, but especially matthew, spend time at camp. I was hoping to pass on to Matthew how incredible his Great Grandpa's camp was and just what a special place Camp Playland is. Unfortunately, it was a horribly rainy day and so while Matthew loved riding around the camp in a golf cart, and had a little bit of time to play catch outside, I wasn't sure that I passed on my feelings of love to Matthew as I basically begged him to jump on Grandpa's rocks.

Fast forward a few weeks...
This Passover we were lucky enough to have my grandma, and my brother's family join us at my mom's and dad's house for the seder! On the first night of Passover we had a large crowd, and I prefer to just read through the Haggadah and enjoy a typical seder. The second night though is usually smaller, and I love to make it more special for the children. In our Haggadah's there are family activities that you can do to make the seder more understandable for the children.

One of the pages asks how is God like a Rock....
Matthew quickly started to answer and included all of the following: God is strong and big and rocks are hard and you can jump them like Walter, my great grandpa...I am Matthew Walter....I jumped on the rocks!
I will always treasure Matthew's answer....in a few words he managed to show me so much...
He understood God.
He understood my grandpa
He understood the importance of Grandpa's rocks
he and I had shared a memory at Camp Playland!

For a little boy who at times struggles sooo much to make things make sense...he got it! He jumped on Grandpa's Rocks and it mattered!

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