About Me

I am a single mom of three amazing boys!  All three of my sons entered my family through adoption.  All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

strangers part deux

OK, apparently Matthew has now mastered the concept of stranger...but this has led us to 2 new concepts that must be conquered.
1. Not embrassing our mother.
2. That it is ok sometimes for mom to chat with someone, but it is never ok for Matthew to stop a stranger on the street to chat with them.

Idiosincracies are intense to teach to anyone, but subtlety is a fine art that Matthew really needs to pick up on. We were at the grocery store today and while I always grocery shop with 3 in tow, sometimes it is easier than others. Today was a relatively easy day, but after going through 3/4 of the store, I just wanted to get done. We were at the aisle where I was encouraging each of the boys to pick their juice boxes for the week, and Jacob was walking in front of carts and pushing our cart and basically just attempting to be cute, but unfortunately his cute was about to get him or someone else hurt. I must have breathed that sigh of frustration cause one of the other ladies in the store smiled at me and said "you're doing great", I laughed and said something along the lines of "we're almost done....thank god" to which Matthew chimed in "we don't talk to strangers mom!" with exasperation. Which made Jacob chime in "no talking mom". While I rolled my eyes and tried to just get them to wait a minute, the other lady said "you are right boys", and I tried to explain that sometimes moms do chat with each other.....

But no matter how I tried to explain it, or tried to just get them quiet, it was like Matthew could have been smacked in the face with a GIGANTIC HINT and he was never going to catch on......subtlety, the art of communication, the rules of interaction among strangers and friends have to be so delicately taught. I am actually ok with the teaching aspect of all of this, but the public lessons that go along with it are hard....how do you explain these things while interacting with the stranger? Do we just all look down and speak to no one??? Do I just let him chat it up to the world?????

Thank god he is cute and recently has been funny.....but in my next life I will be writing a step by step instruction book of teaching interpersonal relationships for those that don't understand them....actually, it may just be easier to write the book for people who DO understand interpersonal relationships and teach them how to relate to people who don't!

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