About Me

I am a single mom of three amazing boys!  All three of my sons entered my family through adoption.  All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!

Monday, November 22, 2010

The reality of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Fetal Alcohol syndrome is:
1. making excuses to go outside so that you can steal the gum from your mom's car

2. pretending you need to bring a cardboard box to the recycling box so that you can go get a lollipop from the car and then bringing the cardboard box back inside with you because you forgot you were supposed to leave it in the recycling box

3. when your mom asks you about the cardboard box, you rush to quickly bring it outside, and then leave it on the front porch because you still can't remember what you are supposed to do with it

4. breaking a new toy because it won't work and then asking when we can replace it

5. not understanding at the age of 9 that because you broke the new toy you do not get a new toy, that you now have to live with the broken toy

6. taking your brothers hat to school and then trying to figure out what to say when someone realizes you have it.
are you better off lying? telling the truth? You tell the truth, accept that you are in your room for a few minutes and will take the hat again tomorrow because you want it. however you still can't figure out how they knew it wasnt your hat. The hat says JACOB on it, but that still doesnt clue you in.....

7. eating a piece of cake. wanting more cake. knowing that your brother has thrown out his cake. trying like hell to find a way to get your brothers cake. picking up a piece of garbage and announcing that you are throwing it away. being surprised when your mom knows that you are throwing something away so that you can get the cake out of the garbage.

8. knowing your folder for school is lost, and having no idea where it is. You can't remember when you had it last. You can't remember where you saw it. You promise your mom it was lost at home. You make an amazing attempt to look all over the house. The folder is at school. The teacher had the whole class look for the folder at school, she told you it was at school, but you can't remember that she told you this and look for a long time at home. Valiantly looking but in wasted effort because the entire time it is at school, and somewhere lost in your brain you know this.

This was all just today- in the 2 hours we were together, this is how the alcohol that his mom drank 9 years ago impaired matthew's brain. This is how he struggled today. This is a good day for us. Nothing he did hurt anyone. I was able to stay calm.

This is a good day, and yet I am exhausted, sad, and frustrated that this is how he lives his life.


  1. I'm sorry Amie! :( And I can imagine how tough it is and EVERY pregnant person should read this even when the doctor says "oh a glass of wine is ok". Which I think is wrong....

    Now for the part you won't want to hear (or maybe like) stop buying or having ANY cake, candy, cookies, brownies and etc ANYWHERE in your house for a few weeks, heck maybe a month. And replace it with just healthy food. By healthy I mean, bananas, apples, veggie stix, fruit cups, jello and etc. Basically starve them from junk (literally) and no crackers and "beige diet" either. Once they are detox'd so to speak, they will realize what actual FOOD tastes like.
    I think A LOT of kids will do what Matthew does (maybe at a younger age because of his impairment) but the temptation is too great for them. And drives you nuts in the meantime!!! Try it!! :)

  2. Wow. You are amazing. I am glad you are telling your stories.

  3. I love your blog.It is really touching.Hang in there!