I dont know what to do with my sadness, and I am so tired but yet I can't sleep.....I know that I have made the decision that is best for matthew, and for all of us, and I know that matthew needs his meds altered, and I know that by going to the hospital, we will likely end the cycle and matthew will come home healthier, but that doesnt make me less sad.
I miss the nonstop chatter that is matthew.
I miss the nuances, that sometimes make me crazy
I miss the fact that my son is not the healthy boy I thought he would be.
I hate that Matthew struggles.
I hate that matthew has a hard life
I hate that his hard life makes life harder for the other 2 boys and for me.
Why did his brain have to be damaged?
I can only hope that the doctors can help, and that a new mixture of medications and dosages will help Matthew.....but for tonight I am sad, and the house feels a little too quiet without my Matthew.
No comments:
Post a Comment