Matthew has been at 4 winds for almost 2 weeks now and it has been an intense roller coaster ride. He went into 4 winds because he was manic and was really struggling at home. My hope was that he would have a medication adjustment and be home within a week and a half or so. Instead, it is looking like he will spend 2.5 -3 weeks there total. That is a long, long time in the life of a 9 year old.
When he got to 4 Winds he was quickly taken off of his Zoloft as that can create mood instability in some children with FAS and mood disorders. He was also taken of of his Lithium after a few days because his level was toxic and he was started on Depakote instead.
By the middle of the first week he was a wreck, an absolute mess. He was crying constantly, and so, so sad. I fought to have the staff restart his Zoloft and thankfully they did that. At the same time he had a horrible reaction to the Depakote- he became atoxic and struggled to walk,and do most motor activities.
It is heartwrenching to have your 9 year old going through so much emotionally, physically and to not be able to be with him. He could not understand what was going on, he felt horrendous and was not with his mommy. He was crying continuously and was so exhausted he was constantly falling asleep.
Once the doctors determined that he was having such a horrendous reaction to the Depakote he was taken off of the Depakote, but now in a short period of time his body has been through an awful lot of medcation changes. it is one thing if you are going on different antibiotics to solve an ear infection, but he was going on and off of different mood stabilizing medications. Talk about putting the human body through intense emotional reactions!
The only thing that I can hope is that through his time at 4 Winds we now have professionals who have spent a few weeks watching matthew 24/7. They have heard his questions all day long. They have watched him interact with otehr children and staff all day long. They have tried to teach him and speak to him. They seem to have a strong understanding of his cognitive limitations. They also seem to have a strong understanding of his areas of strength and areas of weakness.
he has had his own bedroom the entire time at 4 Winds because he cannot succeed enough with the other children to have a roommate. He has had time in the support area because a staff of people who are used to workingw with children with emotional needs have determined that he needed to be in the support area, away from the group, to succeed. In other words a full time staff of adults have worked with Matthwe and have struggled.
For me that means that I cannnot shoulder this all myself. Matthew needs more than one person can offer to him. We need to surround ourself with support so that Matthew has as many opportunities for success as possible.
My house is quieter than ever before. At night I miss the noise that is Matthew. In the mornings I miss his laughter. However, I don't miss the stress and intensity that Matthew can add to our house. My hope is that over these fwe weeks the other boys andI have created routines, and structures that will allow Matthew to come back home and have success.
I know that when matthew comes home we will need time to be together the 4 of us. Time to snuggle on the couch, to simply be together. We will need to rebuild our family unit. We need to reconnect. We are a family of 4...David and Jacob are very aware that one of us is missing......we are ready for our Matthew to come home.
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