managing the evils of medication

M is taking a few different medications all with a different purpose...and I feel like recently they are working....he is sleeping at night. He is more at peace with himself, and seems happier. And most importantly, he is more redirectable- he is still having fits of anger and outbursts, but he can be calmed, and seems to have a few seconds between getting angry and acting out when i can still catch him and redirect him. Basically there are a few seconds where he and I can breathe and each change the outcome of his tantrum...that is GREAT.

However, every medication has a side effect, and right now one of his medications is making him eat like CRAZY.....I know growing boys need food, and I respect that he will likely eat more than I could ever imagine. However, his eating is unhealthy and out of control- he eats carbs from morning to night. Today by 10:00 he had 2 bowls of cereal, 5 pancakes and was still hungry. Then he ate 6 double stuffed oreos that he got from the neighbor, snuck some cheez its, and ate jelly by the spoonful while I took a shower.

Now tomorrow we are going back to the Psychiatrist and I have to balance what I tell her with what I think he needs. See if you havent been down this road before, you might say, "tell the doctor exactly what is happening, and she will help to figure out what he needs". However, we only have 10 minutes with the doctor. That is not nearly enough time to explain what is needed and what has gone on since our last visit.

So my struggle tonight is that I want the doctor to help to wean M off of his daytime doses of clonodine. I don't think he needs them and I think the Seraquel is calming him more appropriately. In addition, the school would really like him to be able to attend and focus more. So some form of medication that can help with this would be fabulous. Finally, I need to see what we can do to decrease the seraquel so he stops eating me out of house and home but balance that with him having enough to remain calm and redirectable.....

Balance all of this with my desire to have an 8 year old son who is not taking heavy duty medications, who doesn't need them because he is mentally healthy and safe to be around...and this will be an all important 10 minutes. It is up to me to figure out how we will all get through the next month in as positive a way as possible and for M that means giving him the medicaiton he needs to succeed without making him tired or irratable....I so wish he didnt need these medications to function, but I also thank god daily that these medications allow him to be happy, and smile and to feel good about himself.