About Me


I am a single mom of three amazing boys!  All three of my sons entered my family through adoption.  All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

making sense of it all

I just got David's report card, and before you say anything, Yes, I know for kids with special needs these are essentially a waste of paper. I know that they are written based on the time line of a typical child, so it might just be better to rip the report card up and pay it no mind.....but here is my problem, remember I have 2 kids with special needs, so I do have another person with whom to judge things against.

At the end of his kindergarten year, Matthew was writing his name and some basic words. matthew was telling time without hesitation- on a real clock AND a digital clock. Matthew understood the passage of time. matthew knew all of his letters and could identify them, AND he knew his numbers and had a sense of counting and 1 to 1 correspondence.

Matthew has an IQ somewhere between 68-72. To some this is equivalent to mild mental retardation, to others this scores him in the low average range for IQ.

Today I got David's report card. David is doing better in language arts activities than Matthew was at this age. David is also 6 months older than Matthew was as he ended his kindergarten year. However, David is recognizing only 24 letters, he can not write even a single letter, he can not spell his name, he can identify the following site words- "I" and "A" to which I have to ask- really? These count, or are these just listed to hurt my feelings?

David has made INCREDIBLE progress. In behavior alone he has come a long, long way. In social relationships he has started to show some interest, so it is not all about academics to me....however....I would just like someone to give me a hint....where may David end up? What skills can I expect him to gain? When might he write a D? If he can't write a "D" when do we show it to him on a keyboard? How far can he fly? How far can he progress?

I will promise to put on the rose colored glasses again later tonight....and in all honesty, none of these questions are asked with sadness by me. I am a realist. I need to know the facts. I like to cope with reality. If there is a ceiling for David, that is ok, but I am ready to know a time line....to have a hint what others on David's path in life and in all honesty Matthew's path in life have achieved. If we are talking special classrooms through High School, I am ok with that. If we are talking baggers at the local grocery store, I am actually ok with that also....you better believe my boys will be the best damn baggers that ever bagged groceries, and Matthew would be likely to get tips for his kindness, and David will make an art of packing groceries so they are sorted to perfection!

I just want to know what path we are traveling, so that I can pack my bags with the correct necessities......I just really want to know!

1 comment:

  1. Amie
    I can so understand your hurt and wonder. It's only natural to feel this way. I have twins that get report cards at the same time. In the beginning (in preschool and K) it would really bother me. But now, I take it with a grain of salt.
    My big thing with the school district and anyone is that I want my kids (ALL of them) to be INDEPENDANT! I don't care if they are a rocket scientist, because what good is it if they can't live on their own? LIFE skills are what they need! Academics yes, but it's not the end all, be all! If sweeping streets makes them happy, then I will support them 100%!
    I know how you feel and it's always a little raw when we read these "scores" on paper. And to be quite honest with you, I don't think any of the standardized tests do a great job of describing our kids. What if they don't understand what is expected of them and etc.
    HUGS! :)
    xoxo

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