About Me


I am a single mom of three amazing boys!  All three of my sons entered my family through adoption.  All three of my boys have developmental disabilities. My oldest son, Matthew has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. David, my middle son, has a genetic condition, he has a duplication on his 15th chromosome which leads to autism like symptoms, seizures and learning challenges. My youngest son, Jacob has learning disabilities. Each of my children bring unique challengs to our family and also bring their own personality and joys to our everyday life!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

coming back to haunt me

This school year started off pretty rocky...for those of you who were along for the ride, you will remember that David went to, and was asked to leave 2 after school programs. The day he was asked to leave the first program, I was angry, reacted in anger, fear and frustration, and threatened legal action.....come on, most of you would have reacted the same. Ok, maybe not the exact same, but your emotions would have been speaking for you as mine were for me.....adults had hurt my little boy....adults, who profess to CARE for children, had shunned mine....adults who KNEW as we started the year that my son struggled, had said he couldnt return to their care....how was I supposed to react? I was hurt....I reacted. I told them I was "calling my lawyer"

I DON'T HAVE A LAWYER! DUH!!!

Apparently no one told them that! From what happened today, apparently they have been waiting since September to hear from my imaginary lawyer.

Today I called back to register Matthew for next year for this program, and the person who answered the phone hung up on me after saying they were "not allowed to speak with me"! Eight months have gone by since our last conversation. Eight months and a LIFETIME have gone by! And in reality this program is truly optimal for Matthew. It is where he thrived, and grew as a person. The care was great. The staff was always with the kids. It is a good program.

Yes, I would have liked them to try more with David. I do not believe in telling kids they cannot remain in child care at my center. Kids are kids. Someone has to care for them and as far as I am concerned there is a reason for all kids who are struggling to struggle. It is my goal to make their struggles easier. My job to alter my program to make it as succesful for each child as possible. Sure there are times when a child has to go home for a day, when they are simply being unsafe for that day, and they can come back tomorrow and try again. But EXPELLED? At the age of 5? From an AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM? TWO hours! That was all they had to do, watch him and keep him safe for 2 HOURS!

I am just shocked and amazed that this long afterwards they are reacting today by hanging up on me! I called back and disguised my voice so they would put me through to the director so that I could leave a message. I emailed an apology acknowledging my wrongdoing. Begging them to reconsider for Matthew. We will see what happens....we will see if I even get a response.

The lesson I have learned is to vent anger and frustration silently, or at least to someone who will hold no power over you in the future. The lesson I hope they will learn is that a mother's anger is intense, BUT also should be forgiven, if not forgotten.

I am seriously geting tired of all the stumbling blocks, but especially those I put in my own way.....and the little life lessons I am constantly taught. I am working to learn patience, forgiveness and understanding. It is an area I am working on constantly.....if only I was a faster learner. If only there was a time machine to take me back 8 months. If only I knew then, what I know now, which is that for David the best thing was being kicked out of the 2 after school programs. That he would thrive and grow in the care of amazing babysitters. That in reality he isnt ready for a large group program after a long school day. If only, if only, if only.......

2 comments:

  1. If they accept any sort of public money--they can't refuse you. They might be stuck. You can always have this "imaginary" lawyer call and remind them of this...if it is a private person, they might not want to know that their program is blackballing kids for the ills of their parents.

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  2. sadly anonymous, apparently they can blackball kids with needs- I have a suit against the YMCA for kicking David out for similar reasons because they were much more obvious about their not allowing him to come due to his disabilities, but even that suit might be rejected....it is a sad, sad reality that kids with needs are not included in programs for children.

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