Today I admitted matthew to Four Winds Hospital. Today I think we made a painful step towards change. If nothing else, maybe they will adjust medication. Maybe they will be able to work and find the right combination of medications that will help him.
After spending a few hours with matthew while we waited for him to be admitted, it is a wonder that he can live and function at all. He is constantly distracted. The world is a distraction for Matthew- "how much is 2*1? What is 1*2? What day is it today? When is your birthday? are you married? Do you have any kids....yes sometimes I feel sad. I have friends. We play together. I get angry. What is 1*3? Why are your nails so long? Do they hurt you? What is 4*3?
That is what it was like to be with matthew today. That is just a little glimpse into his world. How can he be expected to learn? to make friends? To be nice? When his brain is racing constantly?
Even the simplest of questions- what is the same between an apple and an orange- lead him down all sort of tangent paths. Apples are red, oranges are orange. Two years ago on a Thursday at midnight I had a dream about an orange. Oranges and apples you say? Apples and oranges- mmmmmmm, I would like some milkshake.
What is the same about an apple and an orange?
They are round...both are round. can I have a milkshake now?
Something has to stop the motion. Something has to clear Matthew's head.
Hopefully over the next week they will make some changes. Hopefuly we can slow Matthew down.
Hopefully. Hopefully.
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